Apr 232012

A dream come true starts with the belief that a dream is possible first.

But have you ever wanted something really bad and then realized that you don’t want it anymore after you got it?

Or maybe your dream come true really is amazing. But you thought your life would be perfect if you just had that one thing, and now you realize it isn’t. There are still problems to deal with.

Or you realize that it’s nice to get what you want, but not particularly amazing. What seemed glittery, fascinating, and full of illusion when it was just beyond your grasp just gives you the same feeling as looking at the furniture in your living room after you get it. (Who would have thought?)

Or maybe you realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted after all. Maybe you were completely mistaken in your desire, and everything you dreamed it would be was just a fantasy. Maybe by getting what you thought you wanted, you ended up with something you truly don’t want at all.

That’s definitely happened to me before.

It makes the process of manifesting and setting goals all the more frustrating, doesn’t it?

As we dream up our desires and call them in, we have to wonder after a certain point:

How invested can I be in this dream when I don’t even really know how I’ll feel after I get it?

How do I know that it will serve me?

Now before we get to the solution of evaluating whether a dream serves you, let me just say that this doesn’t necessarily eliminate any of the above scenarios.

I’m starting to believe that it’s natural to go through a period of sadness or even depression after receiving something big that you’ve wanted. There’s the initial high and happiness, but then there’s a come down too. There’s a fear of losing what you’ve gained maybe, or a fear of your own power and success.

I know I’ve certainly experienced this. The first few times I experienced it, I thought there was something wrong, but I wasn’t sure what. I thought maybe I had chosen wrong initially or somehow lost my way after I got what I wanted. It never occurred to me that such feelings are normal until I heard other people start to talk about this. And I’m soooo glad there is a voice to this now, and we can learn to accept it rather than be surprised when it happens.

But that still leaves the question of: How do we ultimately know if our beliefs and desires serve us?

While researching information for my last blog post What are the Exact Steps for Visualizing Healing and Change? I came across a video on You Tube where Dr. Simonton explained how to tell if a belief and desire for a particular outcome truly serves you.

He explains that the best type of thinking to have is not necessarily positive, but healthy, balanced, and realistic.

A healthy outlook on manifesting or goal achievement would be: I don’t know if I’ll get what I want, but I believe that what I do makes a significant difference.

A typical positive statement such as “I’ll get what I want” is healthier than thinking “I’ll never get what I want”, but it may not be realistic or grounded in fact the way that healthy thinking is.

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself about a particular belief you have for something you would like to manifest.

If you answer yes to 3 or more of the 5 questions, then it is safe to say that your belief is healthy.

1) Is my belief based on fact?
2) Does my belief protect my life and my health?
3) Does my belief help me achieve my short and long term goals?
4) Does my belief help me resolve or avoid my most undesirable conflicts?
5) Does my belief help me to feel the way I want to feel?

Now take a moment and think about a belief you have that is in alignment with something you desire.

Based on these questions, what type of belief do you think it is:

Healthy, Positive, or Negative?

Does this change your perspective about your belief?

Leave a comment below and share with us if you have found these 5 questions helpful for reaffirming or changing a belief.

Do you have any questions you would like me to answer in my weekly blog post? Send your questions to Christina@CoachingWithChristina.com.

Would you like to find out the best way you (and only you) can create a targeted plan to manifest your dream and remove emotional blockages that are getting in your way?

Call me for a private coaching session to find out the easiest way to get clear and take your life to the next level. We can do a lot during a free session!

Call 610-420-3040 or email me at Christina@CoachingWithChristina.com

  11 Responses to “How Do You Know if Your Belief Serves You?”

  1. These are great questions to ask. At first one may have to write them down and keep in your phone or purse so they are able to reference until they become habit :)

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  2. It’s sort of like buyers remorse, right? You’ve finally found the perfect couch, painting, rug, car etc, but as as soon as you buy you second guess if you could have found a better deal, or a brighter color, or a bigger size.

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    • Yes! That’s why it’s so important to have as much clarity as possible at the outset (although we may never have perfect clarity) and to stay focused on the journey rather than the result.


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  3. Very well said Christina! I hope you don’ mind but I’d like to share one other question I consider when evaluating my own beliefs (I think of these as the stories we tell ourselves) and that is whether it is compelling enough to serve as a catalyst for growth inspired action.

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    • Yes that is absolutely important (and kind of a prerequisite, I think)! Sometimes we embrace desires and beliefs that are not our own, and that is why they are not compelling in the first place. I agree that is the first place to start. Feeling inspired to go deeper with that in a separate blog post!

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  4. Thanks for these powerful questions. I especially connected to what you said about it being natural to feel a little sadness after you get something you want. I am learning to visualize not just the feeling of having what I want, but how it will benefit me or the people I have been called to love and serve.

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    • I love that idea, Tai! I think sometimes we can become a little too self-focused during this process. Remembering the people that are served by us fulfilling our desires and creating for the highest good *does* offer some redirected focus for that sadness!

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  5. I appreciate the perspective that not all beliefs serve us. Sometimes people think, “If I believe it, I can do it and it will be right!” We can believe all sorts of thing, at different times, for different reasons. Sometimes a personal issue is clouding our perspective and we are totally unrealistic. Sometimes we just haven’t gone inside enough to know what we really want. Like you say, we can arrive at something we thought we wanted, only to be disappointed. That was a great list of questions to ask for any belief. Thanks for sharing Dr. Simonton’s article.

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    • Absolutely! We have so much power to create our own reality, but it *does* have limits–that was the main point that I wanted to share here, the balance.

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  6. Thanks, Christina, for sharing this article on “How Do You Know if Your Belief Serves You?” What to profit to gain for creative purpose. What a well-read article!

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